


chaotic stuff Richie tweets months after Eddie’s death

by QuinsQuins



Series: Recovery [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: :/, Angst, Beverly and Richie are best friends, Bill writes a book about their clown experience and the ending is bad, Coming Out, Gay Feelings, He loves him, Hurt Richie Tozier, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Richie Tozier is Bad at Feelings, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Richie gets a dog and names it bingo bingo, Richie makes random friends off the street when he asks for them to take pictures, Twitter, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Weird Shit, sorry - Freeform, the fans are confused but support their dysfunctional king, the losers are concerned, this is just purely self indulgent bull
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22420222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuinsQuins/pseuds/QuinsQuins
Summary: @bb14 to @RichieTozier“ I don’t know about you guys but, I want whatever tf Richie Tozier be snorting. Rip to healthy people but, I’m depressed.🤷”@RichieTozier to @bb14“ Willy Wonka Razzapple fun dip.”~~~~~~or,Richie’s chaotic tweets lead him to meeting one extra-ordinary person....but not @bb14, no.They’re account got deleted.
Relationships: Richie Tozier & Original male character, Richie Tozier & his twitter fans, Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier/Original Male Character, The Losers Club & Richie Tozier
Series: Recovery [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1613476
Comments: 7
Kudos: 131





	chaotic stuff Richie tweets months after Eddie’s death

**Author's Note:**

> I have no Inspiration to write anything longer than a small paragraph rn so, you are getting this is instead! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy as this is helping me out of my funk :) !

“ I fucking hate clowns.”  
[Image attached is Richie standing stiffly in front of his mirror with a full face of clown makeup that’s smeared underneath his eyes- possibly either from crying, or sweat.]

@toziersphathead to @RichieTozier,  
“ good to see you embracing your true self. We stan 🥰✨.”

@RichieTozier to @toziersphathead,  
“ Go into your bathroom, turn off the lights, say my name three times in the mirror and see what the fuck happens.”

@toziersphathead to @RichieTozier,  
“ damn, when the hell did you become so rude? Was just a joke, man, Jeez 🙄.”

@RichieTozier to @toziersphathead,  
“ after I killed the clown that terrorized me as a child and killed my two best friends, giving a fuck about what people think of me became my lowest priority.”

~~~~~~

@bb14 in relation to Richie’s last tweet,  
“ I don’t know about you guys but, I want whatever tf Richie Tozier be snorting. Rip to healthy people but, I’m depressed.🤷”

@RichieTozier to @bb14  
“ Willy Wonka Razzapple fun dip.”

@bb14 to @RichieTozier,  
“ is that it?”

@RichieTozier to @bb14,  
“ no, I mix it with crAck.”  
~~~~~~

Richie’s manager, Steve, gets onto him for his last tweet- yelling at him some bullshit about ‘cleaning up his image- but, Richie brushes it aside and stays of twitter for a while.

He drinks himself silly, downing bottle after bottle of beer, while laying in his bed.

That night- after having a long, drunk filled discussion with himself- Richie grabs his phone.

~~~~~~

At 12 am on a Saturday, five days after posting his clown picture, Richie tweets,

“ Not to be homophobic but, I’m gay.” 

@snekay_sneka to @RichieTozier,  
“ I fucking knew it.”

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ since when?”

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ Since the sight of your moms fat, nipple pierced tits stopped being interesting.”

~~~~~~

After re-reading the tweet, both sober and drunk, he cringed.

Steve was definitely going to have a cow in the morning.  
~~~~~~

@thefintozierstandsforfunnt to @bonjoviisdead and @RichieTozier,  
“ woah, man, chill. That ain’t cool.”

@✨_ashlieh_✨to @RichieTozier,  
“ on behalf of all the LGBT community, I apologize. We don’t accept trash 😤🤜🗑.”

@bonjoviisdead to @✨_ashlieh_✨, @thefinTozierstandsforfunny and @RichieTozier,  
“ you really didn’t have to call my mom out like that, bro. she sighed the contract.” 

~~~~~~

Sipping on his...ninth? Tenth? beer of the night, the tweet caught his eye immediately. The response was unexpected. Usually when Richie opened his big fat mouth, people fought for him to close it but....in this case, maybe not this certain person.

Interesting.

Richie decided to reply back.

~~~~~~

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ not sorry about it, may man. that expired weeks ago. Only way I can prove to people that I’m a flaming homo is to roast their moms 😪 a real stress reliever.”

@froggz_ to @RichieTozier and @bonjoviisdead,  
“ brAh, what 👀?!”

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ i doubt any man would fall in love with an old geezer that still makes mom jokes 🤢.”

~~~~~~

Fully immersed in this conversation with a random fan on his account, Richie forgot about the half drunk beer that sat lonely on his dresser. Creating a ring stain over the hundreds of others that had been Imprinted there from Richie’s forgetfulness.

He laughs to himself at the tweet and snuggles deeper into bed, fingers already working up a reply.

~~~~~~

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ I’m 40 years old, asshole. And, you’d be surprised at how many smoking hot babes I’ve gotten into bed with the classic mom joke 💅.”

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ my mom included...?”

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ your mom included, bucko.”

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ dang....oh well, 🤷. Sorry daddy.”

~~~~~~

Richie had to place his phone down and scream into his pillow at that reply. His heart was beating so fast, it felt like it was about to explode.  
This fucking stranger was starting to turn him into a fucking Highschool girl texting her crush, and having it go...well!!

What the fuck was happening?

~~~~~~

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“...speaking of your mom, where tf is she and why does she allow you to own a fucking Twitter?”

@24hourwildin to @bonjoviisdead and @RichieTozier,  
“ how do you delete someone else’s tweet?”

~~~~~~  
Richie forgets to respond- his head throbbing in pain from made him almost, literally, pass out.  
He woke up a few times in the middle of the night to throw up in a trash can by his bed. Choosing not to look at his phone before the skull numbing pain in his head disappeared.  
~~~~~~

The conversation between Richie and his fan goes viral for a few days, before he tweets again two weeks later, at 9:45 on a Thursday.

~~~~~~

He posts about his after hangover remedy.

“ I just ate a whole package of chips ahoy, drank three glasses of milk, threw it all up, and went to get more chips ahoy. I regret nothing but not getting chocolate milk instead.”  
[ Below the tweet is an attached image of Richie, angled below his chest, with his face a pale sweaty mess, cheeks rosy pink, holding up a peace sign and a smirk that shows off his lopsided teeth.]

~~~~~~

While waiting in line at the store, cookies and milk tucked tightly under his arm, he checks his twitter for any familiar usernames. Swaying on his feet in boredom at the line got backed up by an old woman playing with change.  
Nickel change.

Richie sighs and checks his phone as more replies come flowing in.

~~~~~~

@trAsh_tOzIer to @RichieTozier,  
“ I am concerned you your wellbeing. Should I call a hospital?”

@RichieTozier to @trAsh_tOzIer,  
“ what would you tell them? That I overdosed on chocolate chip cookies and tried to detox myself with cow tit milk? No thanks 🥱.”

@cccreeper to @trAsh_tOzIer and RichieTozier,  
“ how do we know you didn’t lace the cookies with something? As well the milk? We have a right to be worried about someone who’s had drug problems in the past, you don’t have to be an asshole about it.”

@RichieTozier to @cccreeper and @trAsh_tOzIer,  
“ okay, Um, okay- how about you, I don’t know, mind your own business before I shove a chips ahoy up your poop deck?”

~~~~~~

The conversation came to a halt as Richie’s turn to check out came up.

He shoves his phone into the deep pocket of his sweats, ignoring the vibration that tingled his finger tips as he let it go, and got out the money needed to pay for his ‘medicine’.

The cashier either knows Richie, or is having a bad day, and pointedly looks down the while time they’re interacting with him. Head only raising the meet his eyes while they give him the change and wish him a good day, before immediately looking back down at their empty hands.

Richie raised a brow, but doesn’t think much more of it as he exits the store. Hand already itching to snatch up his phone that’s sunk at the very bottom of his pockets.

He struggles for, at least, two minutes before the tips of his fingers are able to pinch one of the devices corners, and he checking his notifications.

Scrolling through them, without opening the app, Richie’s face lights up in a small smile at the sight of his favorite- familiar- username.

~~~~~~

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier and @cccreeper,  
“ BRAH 😂, you seriously need to chill tf out with these tweets before I go into cardiac arrest.”

~~~~~~

Reaching the door to his apartment- well, more like small mansion that he ‘shares’ with two other ‘movie stars’- Richie hurries inside to hide his fan girling from any paparazzi that might be hiding nearby.  
He chucks the milk in the fridge, not caring if it cracks one of the plastic shelves, or not, and tosses the cookies on his living room table while flopping down onto his old couch.

He brings his knees up to his chest, cold toes wiggling against the furnitures scratchy texture to warm them up, and bites his tongue while typing up a comical but, serious response.

~~~~~~

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ you going to the hospital, too? can’t wait to see you there. I’ll be on the floor with all the other drug addicts so, HMU when you regain consciousness 😉.”

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ you know I will, sweetcakes. Make sure you bring the cookies, too. ‘M hungry 😋.”  
~~~~~~  
Richie’s stomach rumbles at the mention of his cookies, and he digs into a family sized packaged to grab a handful.  
Munching on them in pleasure as he likes the comment.  
~~~~~~

@RichieTozier to @Bonjoviisdead,  
“ aye aye captain!”

@renegaderenegaderenegade to @bonjoviisdead and @RichieTozier,  
“ y’all should date 😳🥵.”  
~~~~~~  
The tweet makes Richie spit out a bits of cookie onto his unclean rug.

He would not be cleaning it up later.

His face heats up at the thought of being with another man- or, whatever this stranger identified as- but, the tweet seemed to ignite a bit of resentment in him.  
~~~~~~

Both @bonjoviisdead and @RichieTozier reply to @renegaderenegaderenegade with the ‘🖕’ emoji, and left it at that.

~~~~~~

It’s the start of November that Richie tweets again since his last conversation with his fans.

He’s slowed down his drink to five a night but, instead of binging on cookies the night after, he eats a heart piece of cooked chicken with a bag of potato chips along with the beer.  
It’s not AS healthy as he would want to be...but it’s a start.

~~~~~~

“ Got sad then impulsively bought a dog. His names Bingo Bongo, and he’s an asshole.”  
[Theres two images attached. The first one is of Richie’s neutral face squatting down next to a sleek, grey Pit bull and the second one is a very blurry figure of Richie’s terrified expression while bongo’s equally blurry snout is barring his teeth in in the corner.]

~~~~~~  
The dogs name had originally been Penelope. Penelope the pit bull but, since HE was a he and still a puppy, Richie decided to change it to something less human and more heartfelt.

Some people who had overheard his conversation with the person who gave him a bunch of papers to sign shit his angry looks.  
Especially this one teenage chick that’s little, bitch ass Chihuahua kept barking at every living that seemed to piss it off. 

As if re-naming a dog was a crime punishable by death.

Richie sighed the papers without meeting anyone’s eyes and loudly, to spite some of them, proclaimed “ Okay, Bingo Bongo, lets head to your new home!” In one of those stereotypical baby voices that people use on their pets as they walked out.

He caught a glimpse of disgust on the teenage girls face, and exaggeratedly winked at her and calmly walked down the slanted ramp outside the humane societies door with Bingo Bongo walking happily by his side.  
A smirk on his stubble covered face.

~~~~~~

It was now, at home, that he was comfortably plunged into his couch. A glass of chocolate milk and left over, stale, chips ahoy cookies sitting on a steel tray beside him. Absently chewing on one every few minutes as he aimlessly scrolled through his feed.

~~~~~~

@touthmrash to @RichieTozier,  
“ awe, look at the baby! 🥺 he’s so precious.”

@grounddawg to @RichieTozier,  
“ Wtf! 😟 That’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever fucking seen! Get that beast away from you! He’s dangerous and could kill you!! Run, while you still can!”

~~~~~~  
Richie frowned at that tweet. Setting down the cookie he had just about eaten, Richie looked down at the sleeping canine beside him.

Bingo Bongo was snuggled deeply into his side. His cute, doggy snores tickling Richie’s stomach and the tips of his neatly trimmed puppy claws poking holes into his thin, cotton shorts.

A precious, beautiful creature that- when awake- could be a handful but, Richie wouldn’t want it any other way.

~~~~~~

@—dino— to @grounddawg and @RichieTozier,  
“ how could you say those awful words to that BEAUTIFUL face? you, sir, are CANCELED 🤬!!”

@RichieTozier to @grounddawg,  
“ hey, Bingo Bongo may be a bit hyper but, he’s the sweetest dog I’ve ever had, tf you calling him a beast for?!? He’s baby.”

@grounddawg to @RichieTozier,  
“ I was talking about you but, go off, I guess 🤓.”

@cathymarky to @RichieTozier,  
“ oh mah gawd, he didn’t...🤭.”

@RichieTozier to @grounddawg,  
“ ...touché, bitch, touché.”

~~~~~~  
He waited for the stranger to reply to his tweet, fingers itching in anticipation at whatever smart ass comment they had to make.

Sadly, they never did, and Richie decided to call it quits that night and turned his phone off. He went to bed feeling a little dissatisfied but, took comfort in Bingo Bongo’s presence at the edge of his legs.

He didn’t have a beer that night.

~~~~~~

On one random Sunday, Richie’s walking Bingo Bongo down one of the many forest trails near his house when, a sudden chirp from his twitter interrupts the peaceful sounds of actual, real wild life birds that flew over head.

Richie wiped the sweat dripping down his face and stopped his walking to fill Bingo’s travel bowl with the rest of his water.  
Pulling out his phone from his pocket, Richie has to shield the screen from the suns reflection to even see his notification, and swipes left on the glass.

Giving the message a quick scan, he begins to laugh his ass off for the first time since September.

Chest and belly bouncing up and down wildly as he tried to contain himself. 

Bingo Bingo looked up at his owner in adorable confusion, head tilted as water dripping from his chops, but sat down patiently by Richie’s legs.

The comedian pat the pit bulls sleek head, still shaking with bits of laugher and opened up his twitter as they began to walk again.

~~~~~~

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier posted an image of when Richie first auditioned for SNL- the caption being “ Was Just scrolling through insta, came across this handsome devil just to realize it was @RichieTozier. What tf happened to you? lol.”

~~~~~~  
Richie snickers to himself and replies to his favorite stranger with just his thumb, completely aware of the danger of him tripping over a log, or falling over a cliff was as he looked down at his screen.  
~~~~~~

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ 😧 how. dare. you! Your weenie privileges have been revoked! Come back when you can act like a proper weenie! And, until then, the spot for Vice President of the weenie club is open for grabs.”

@0oMariao0 to @RichieTozier,  
“ ooooo Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! I want to be a weenie!”

@Lincoln__💵 to @0oMariao0 and @RichieTozier,  
“ What’s the requirements to be a  
weenie?”  
~~~~~~

Normally, Richie didn’t like to respond to other users- especially after the...’cocaine conspiracy’ as Steve and many other celebrity blogs had liked to call it- that weren’t his ‘mutuals’ but, he was feeling better today.

~~~~~~

@RichieTozier to @Lincoln__💵,  
“ you’ve had to watch the one SpongeBob episode, at least, twelve times to be a weenie.”

@Lincoln__💵 to @RichieTozier,  
“ dang 😔✊ guess I’m out.”

@bonjoviisdead to @Lincoln__💵, @0oMariao0, and @RichieTozier  
“ NO! Not my weenie 😰 Please don’t replace me! I take it back! I’m sorry! Just, please, give me back my weenie 😢.”

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ I’m afraid it’s too late for apologies, sir. The only way to get back your weenie bqcj is pledging your undying love for me with the grandest of gestures.”

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ Oh...oh, you know what 😬 you can keep my weenie, I’m good 🙃.”

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ 🤥 <— you.”

@bonjoviosdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ 🥱.”

~~~~~~

That night, Richie has a nightmare...one worse than the few has had since...it.

He jerks up in his bed, upsetting Bingo that had been resting his head on the trashmouth’s legs, breathing heavily.  
Sweat drips down his face as the fading flashes of a man with brown eyes and a claw sticking through his chest haunts him.

Pleading for Richie to save him, that it was all his fault, blaming him for his death. Laughing, crying...screaming.

Richie abandons Bongo in his room for a drink.

He doesn’t come back to bed.

~~~~~~  
Three days later, Richie posts again.

This time it’s just a no caption, slightly blurry, image posted at 3am on the 24th of December, with him wearing a ‘you’re not immune to propaganda’ Garfield shirt, blue/black plaid styled boxers and thin brown flip flops. He’s holding a half empty bottle of vodka while staring into the camera- eyes shiny and blood shot. And, to make the image even stranger, he’s somehow gotten someone to take the picture of him posing in front of a neon sign that says ‘Naked oysters’ and there’s a thin layer of snow covering the concrete around him.]

@Thegreen__45 to @RichieTozier,  
“ uh...who tf took this picture?”

@//w4nd4// to @Thegreen__45,  
“ some poor unfortunate soul, may they rest if peace ✌️ 😔.”

@Thegreen__45 to @//w4nd4//,  
“ how you know they dead?”

@//w4nd4// to @Thegreen__45,  
“ 👀💦.”

@toziersphathead to @RichieTozier,  
“ he’s in LA, right?”

@ihave80HD to @toziersphathead,  
“ yeah, he is. I’ve been to that restaurant before...10/10, would NOT recommend.”

@mrs__eeden to @ihave80HD and @toziersphathead,  
“ why?”

@ihabe80hd to @mrs__eeden,  
“ you don’t wanna know.”  
~~~~~~

His phone lays dead under the dirty couch. Covered by an old box of Chinese take out.

A cockroach scurries across its cracked screen.

~~~~~~  
(3)private messages:  
@SteveCovall  
\- Call.me.now.  
@BevelyHanscom  
\- Richie, please answer you phone. We’ve already gotten ahold of your manager, Steve, and he said he hasn’t been able to get to you for hours. Please call me, we’re all worried.  
@bonjoviisdead  
\- you okay?

~~~~~~

Richie, after clearing out the trash from under his couch, finding his phone, decides to break his ‘vow of silence’ and make a ‘formal’ explanation to his fans after his strange behavior.  
Choosing to ignore the 3 message icon that weigh down his inbox as he logs into twitter.

~~~~~~  
@RichieTozier,  
“ I couldn’t sleep and took a walk. Don’t worry. The bottle of vodka is full of ice punch Gatorade syrup. Props to the guy that helped me hide my double chin for this photo- though. it made my night 💕😌.”

@wubb-y to @RichieTozier,  
“ Holy fuck, he’s alive.”

@BillDenbrough to @RichieTozier,  
“ you fucker, call me. Now.”

@theblackrapids,  
“ since when are Denbrough and Tozier friends? 👀”

@_4w4_ to @theblackrapids,  
“ that’s what I was thinking! What’s going on?!?”

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ good to know you’re doing fine, motherfucker. That shirt was fucking hideous, burn it.”

@__h__o__e to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ are you friends with @BillDenbrough and @RichieTozier, too? 👀 I’ve see your convos with Tozier but, not Bill.”

@bonjoviisdead to @__h__o__e,  
“ no.”

~~~~~~  
On that same night Richie had posted that cursed photo, someone named @cameron_carter posted a tweet at 3:18 am.  
“ Bruh, this guy just came up to me wearing a fucking Garfield shirt and asked me to take a picture. LA be wilden’, man. Stg.”

It receives a plethora of likes and messages that @ him to a random celebrities twitter account.

~~~~~~  
Hours later, at 8:45 am, Cameron has seen the photo, and replies  
“@richietozier, 😇.”

Richie notices the notification pop up on his phone, likes it- along with the original tweet, follows him and goes back to sleep with his back snuggled right up against Bingo Bongo’s side.

~~~~~~  
He stays off twitter for a few weeks, and doesn’t reply to any tweets from his fans or messages from his manager, nor the losers till four days later.  
~~~~~~  
@RichieTozier to @SteveCovall  
\- Call.me.now  
No. See ya Monday-  
@RichieTozier to @BeverlyHanscom  
\- Don’t worry about me Mrs.Hanscom! Everything this fine! Just had to get all the sillies out before returning to adult life! No need to worry, love you. Ps, tell Bill I couldn’t call him cause I lost his number 🤷♂️❤️  
@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead  
\- yeah, ur mom just pushed me a little bit too hard the other night. Needed to get out for some fresh air, if you know what I mean ;)  
~~~~~~

It’s the next few weeks that Richie starts to get his schedule back on track.

First, he gets everything settled with his manager. He doesn’t beg Steve to stay but, somehow- through the power of his charm- he strikes a deal with him about meeting up to discuss his new material/rehearsals every other Tuesday and Thursday.

Then, he and the losers meet up for a small ‘reunion’ before Ben and Bev go on their honeymoon to Europe. A trio that would last, possibly, a month- if things went well.  
He was happy for them- happy to see them, again- and proudly showed off Bingo Bongo to the group with a smile.

( even if his heart ached with the need to pinch a past loves cheeks, or joke about the birds and the bees with a man that’d he’d never seen since that last summer....)

Richie leaves the reunion earlier than expected, tired and ready for bed, and gives all the losers a hug.

It’s that night he dreams of nothing.

~~~~~~

Richie starts to get his own, personal schedule back in oder.

He walks Bingo Bongo regularly, takes showers and vacuums under the couch, eats mildly healthy and has an annual movie night, by himself every Friday.  
~~~~~~

It’s any other Saturday night. He’s snuggled up to his chin in blankets, Bingo Bongo by his side, as the illumination of ‘Die Hard’ shines against his glasses.

He’s bored....and fidgety.

He looks over at the phone he hasn’t really used in over two weeks, and decides he’s earned a little bit of fun.

Picking up the device, Richie opens his twitter and begins to scroll through his camera roll.  
~~~~~~

@RichieTozier,  
“ looking through my drafts, and found this piece of gold ;) enjoy.”  
[Pinned to his tweet is a 30 second video with the blurred inside of a random convenance store as it’s thumb nail. Pressing play on the video, it starts off with the camera facing a, visibly, drunk Richie that’s smiling into the camera. He flips the camera to front view while walking by an isle of candy and chips, before passing a man at the slushie machine. His laugh makes the phones audio crackle a bit, probably from poor use, and as Richie gets to the door, you can clearly hear him say “Hello, Mr.President” directed at the man getting a slushie. Then, in an instant, the man turns and screams a garbled mess of curse words that send Richie screaming, and laughing out the door. “Holy fuck!” Can be heard as the camera violently shakes back and forth for a few seconds, catching the area around the convenient store as he runs. Next, Richie makes it to his car, his panting breathes blowing out the phones speakers. He flips to camera back onto his smiling face, now flushed and hair a crazed mess before the clips ends abruptly.]  
~~~~~~

He tries not to obsess over every notification that pops in on his screen- it just made the anxiety in his body grow worse- but, when he sees the common username, his heart flips.

~~~~~~

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ dude, was that your dad? You two look so much alike!”

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ that joke was to fucking funny, that I forgot to laugh. You, sir. Should be a comedian.”

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ why, thank you 😌 I learned from the best 😉.”  
~~~~~~

Richie doesn’t know why it surprises him this stranger has seen his shows.

Cause, yeah, he’s a semi famous comedian but, its just..the vibe he gets from them doesn’t feel like the normal vibe he gets from every other fan, like....like this guy- this person- is just...here to talk.

Not for fame- or clout, as he’s heard the kids say- but, just to have a friend?

...were they friends?  
~~~~~~

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ wait, you’ve seen my stuff? Oh god, now I’m embarrassed. Please don’t roast me, oh powerful being, I’m scared my weak, old man heart won’t be able to take much more 😵.”

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ ur such a drama queen, you know that? You’re only 40 years old, just like you said, relax. But, yeah, I’ve seen your stuff....it’s...okay?”

~~~~~~

Richie chokes on his saliva.

~~~~~~

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ what’s with the question mark? You trying not to hurt my wittle feewings, awewwe 😚.”

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings 🤷♂️ but- yeah, you’re old stuff kinda sucked. Wasted some good, hard earned, cash just to watch you make dick jokes for an hour. I could of used that forty bucks to buy me a new comforter!”

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ yeah, my stuff really was shit back then- and I’m ashamed of it- but, I got some new stuff coming out that’ll really knock your socks off 😋!!”

~~~~~~

Well, it’s not full of dick jokes, is what he means.

~~~~~~

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ yeah! I saw that! Congratulations, btw, can’t wait to see it!”

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ you got a ticket?”

~~~~~~

He doesn’t know why, but the though of meeting this smartass troll made his stomach flutter.

~~~~~~

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ uh, duh! I’ve actually gone to a few of your shows in the past- cringing at the unsavory humor- but, I’m really excited to see what you have up your sleeve after...everything’s that’s happened!”

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ oh, well, that’s cool! And, by chance, which date shall your lovely self be attending? Atlanta, NewYork, Chicago? I wanna know 🧐!”

~~~~~~

Richie sends the tweet with his fingers crossed.

He doesn’t know if he’s praying for them to be at the first LA show, or in the last but, he forgets about it as the response vibrates against his thigh.

Looking over at Bingo Bongo’s tired face, as if the dog could sense his anxiety, Richie gave a wiry smile.

“Well...lets see where this adventure shall take us, eh? Boy?”

The Pitbull licks his chops and goes back to sleep.

Richie only rolls his eyes.

~~~~~~ 

Opening the app, he taps the notifications button, refreshing it once, and reads his new reply.

...

...

...

~~~~~~

@bonjoviisdead to @RichieTozier,  
“ I’m actually going to be at the first show! In LA! Hope your ass is ready to handle a live critic review!”

~~~~~~

Richie’s heart drops into his stomach.

The first show was next week.

~~~~~~

@RichieTozier to @bonjoviisdead,  
“ Fuck.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed that!
> 
> Leave a comment, if you want, too! And have a good one!


End file.
